Admit it lah. At some point in your life, you must have Googled to see if your zodiac sign was compatible with that of your poly crush, team manager, company intern, insurance agent and/or Pilates coach.
This Chinese New Year, why not take it one step further and find out which CNY goodies and snacks go best with your zodiac sign (or your guests')? Because blood-type diets are so 2005.
For the tiger: Anything that's not brown
If you are born in the year of the tiger, this is your year but jialat, some people say that brown is your unlucky colour, which accounts for the colour of almost every Chinese New Year pastry, cake, cookie, snack or nian gao that we know of.
Luckily for you, we found an assortment of gorgeous goodies that are anything but brown. Like Bonheur Patisserie's macarons in the most kawaii shapes.
For the rabbit and goat: Janice Wong koi fish chocolate
Bunny and goat people are known to be elegant and stylish. So don't you dare serve them regular goodies like $9.90 cashew nut cookies from the supermarket or, gasp, brand-less prawn rolls that came out of your father's business-gift hamper.
Instead, think of the three 'A's: Arty, artisanal and atas. Cue anything from Janice Wong like these chocolate praline candied orange chocolate meticulously made to look like koi.
For the rat, dragon and monkey: Anything cheem
If you believe in your folklore myths, these three zodiac signs are the most intelligent and quick-witted ones.
Only they have the brainpower to figure out life's puzzling mysteries like The Marmalade Pantry's Ang Ku Kueh Cake which is really a vanilla chiffon sponge cake but "with a smooth mung bean cremeux with springy mochi pieces that resemble the Ang Ku Kueh skin texture".
Or what it means to tuck into the "No Pineapple" Pineapple Tarts by Seriously Keto - pineapple cookies made without pineapple but with winter melon.
For the snake: Pine Garden Pork Floss Seaweed Cookies or Chicken Floss Hae Bee Hiam Cookies
Snakes may hiss at this but they are generally seen as curious, which can sometimes escalate into greed and jealousy.
The curious part of them will make them appreciate anything more complicated like these Pine Garden cookies which are made up of ingredient hybrids that you would never have expected.
Pork floss and seaweed? Chicken floss and dried shrimp? Leave the basic stuff like love letters and pineapple tarts to your more chin chye dog-year guests (they are the most likeable zodiac sign and do not like to be shocked by surprises).
For the horse: Amazing Graze Nut Mix Gift Box
This natural-born leader needs all the energy (and calories) he or she can chomp on to stay active and alert. And what better than good ol' nuts to do the job, right?
For the festive season, homegrown wholesome snacks brand Amazing Graze has the Nut Mix Gift Box - choose from the all-time faves like Coconut Curry or the latest flavour, Miso Seaweed.
For the rooster: Anything individually packed (also preferably vacuum-packed)
It's nothing to crow about but roosters are known to be neat and hygienic, and were made for the Covid era. So, don't serve them anything that your grubby, germy fingers have come into contact with.
What they will like: Individually- and vacuum-packed goodies like these Kim Joo Guan bak kwa.
For the dog: Anything also can
Friends born in the year of the dog will always tell you "anything also can" or "whatever you have", whether you are asking them if they want McDonald's or Putien chilli sauce, cold or hot Milo, mee pok or mee kia… yes, they are easily pleased because they are practical, selfless and prudent.
So, offer them a variety of everything nice to eat, like the Venchi Medium Round Chinese New Year Box.
And if the only guest you have over is a real dog of the four-legged kind, In Good Thyme has Chinese New Year goodies for furkids like the Prosperity Pie made of oat flour, egg, cheddar and applesauce.
For the pig: Anything share-able
Those born in the year of the pig have a generous nature and will love anything with a sharing-is-caring concept: Think a boxed set or a platter, or anything that comes in tiers, like the Goodwood Park Hotel Sweet Abundance Tier Set.
This houses eight pairs of assorted petite-sized pastries including pineapple pound cake, lychee crumble tartlet and mango pomelo roll.
For the ox: Bob the Baker Boy CNY Lucky Brownie Stack
Ox folks are determined, hardworking and patient. They fare very well as social distancing ambassadors at a wet market on Sunday mornings and make great guests to have over when you order this CNY Lucky Brownie Stack.
Once the other zodiac signs have posted multiple Boomerangs of this edible work of art on IG Stories, they can sit back and watch Stephen Chow re-runs on TV while their bovine MIL or colleague thinks about how to take this stack apart and serve every guest an equal share.
This article was first published in Wonderwall.sg.