My soon-to-be husband says I should pay 30 per cent more in deposit for our new flat because I have more savings. We earn the same amount of money, and his reason is because he's already paying more for our wedding.
How can we reach a compromise?
Ah money. The anti-glue that tears relationships apart. I must say that your husband has a point, though.
He's paying more for the wedding, and you have more savings, but then again there was the time that you paid for that vacation, and he paid for food, then you covered taxi fares for a whole year - even though you also bought him a new speaker… You get the picture.
Aren't you both getting married? This means sharing expenses and responsibilities? It also means his money is yours and yours is his, no?
Paying for each other when you're in a serious relationship should be a pleasure. So it shouldn't become an accounting contest or exercise that threatens to rip your relationship apart.
My boyfriend has encouraged me to go for breast augmentation - and he'll pay for it. I feel kinda mortified. I feel duped into believing that he loves me for who I am when we first started dating. Still, should I take the gift of bags?
The gift of bags, as you call them, is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Now, despite your boyfriend's request, you should only choose to receive the gift of bags if you sincerely want to own the gift.
If you feel that your current bags are great - that is, adequate or fine, and you don't need new ones - then you shouldn't cave in to pressure. Get it off your chest and let him know how you really feel (fears, concerns and all).
After all, girl, it's your body. No doubt, he'll be appreciative of your effort to please. But remember, it's you who has to live with and accept a new look altogether.
American singer Jennifer Lopez (JLo) famously said that men are useless before they're 33. I agree to disagree: Prior to being 33 or in our 30s, we're pretty useful in stuff such as lifting things, carrying heavy stuff, and opening doors for the ladies. Okay, I digress.
What JLo means is: Men below 33 are useless when it comes to taking on the role as a long-term companion. I kinda agree to some extent, as it can take the majority of men (or even women) well into their 30s to establish their career and have a sense of financial stability.
It can give them the maturity that comes with experience and independence. But that's not to say that men in their 20s aren't mature and capable of achieving the same level of success. It's just that the safer bet is on those who have gained years of independence.
For a woman, marriage is a question of love and commitment. Is this guy loving and committed enough to take care of me?
For a guy, he may not be ready for marriage unless his bank account clearly tells him so. That is, making enough to feed himself,
his partner, and later on, their kids.
So JLo is sort of right. Guys in their 30s are more likely to take the next step in a long-term relationship.
This article was first published in Her World Online.